Vegas Baby

Viva smash Vegas. #followcamfriday on two of the better descents I have ridden, with MTB Jesus, Merrick Golz

So get this. Las Vegas has mountain biking. News to me. When I think of Vegas, other things pop into my mind first. Mostly, how much money will I spend and what bad things will I do to my body.... Well, I guess there is a better way to see the city. As it turns out, the mountain biking is amazing, and a bit less toxic than the strip. 

Merry Christmas from Pete the dog. Pete left me some presents on my carpet the other night. Presents of the brown variety. Pete is getting older by the second, glad to see his bowels are still functioning. Pete doesn't celebrate Christmas or give a shit if you do, he just wants to wish you Merry Christmas.  

Rocks. Sweet, sweet, abrasive rocks. Much like the surface at Bootleg, this is a bad place to lay your body down. Staying upright is highly recommended in this area. Here, Kevin Dixon skillfully bobs and weaves through a maze of coral reef- like rock chunks. Very sharp, not soft. 

If the rocks don't get you, the cactus will. Everything sharp, nothing soft. No loam, no ferns, no grass. Just anger and hate. Exactly what I am looking for in a riding area. Less congratulatory pats on the back for mediocrity, more punches in the jugular.  Each and every mistake is rewarded with a kick in the nuts. Maybe a trip to the ER. As it should be. 

Some call Merrick "MTB Jesus" Merrick was a hair farmer until just recently when he traded his lifetime of hair growth for a freshly shaven exterior. Merrick did mention that "gymnast girls like short hair" Fair play friend, fair play. He still rides like Jesus, despite his helmet not really fitting properly anymore. Jesus doesn't crash, so Jesus actually doesn't need a helmet. Merrick walks of fucking water. 

Well, if you made it this far, you may be dumber. However, I may have just saved you some money, the next time you head to Vegas. Instead of hookers and blow, you can go and break things off of your bike at the Cowboy Trails. Legend has it that wild burros roam the trails, looking for injured mountain bikers to take advantage of. Stay off the ground and you won't find out. If you make it through the day without breaking something, you got lucky. Try harder.